Xucmobpas is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, annoying coyote.

Xucmobpas created silver three billion years ago.

If you believe in Xucmobpas, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Xucmobpas, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Xucmobpas' most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Xucmobpas' Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in holy places.

2. Always look after injured swans.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never run in the presence of birds.

5. Erect five silicon sculptures of Xucmobpas on top of important buildings.