Gomfemkim is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, generous faun.

Gomfemkim created vertebrates three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gomfemkim, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gomfemkim, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Gomfemkim's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Gomfemkim's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Gomfemkim.

2. Run away if three capybaras approach from the west.

3. Never talk about rats.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.