Sidwatsig is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, deceitful snake.

Sidwatsig created the cosmos two billion years ago.

If you believe in Sidwatsig, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Sidwatsig, he will not care.

Sidwatsig's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Sidwatsig's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat strawberries.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not wear lead on your body.

4. Never look at stars.

5. Never paint your neck pink.