Jadzigvan Gumshavnurt is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, self-assured tapir.

Jadzigvan Gumshavnurt created humankind six million years ago.

If you believe in Jadzigvan Gumshavnurt, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Jadzigvan Gumshavnurt, it will turn you into a dog.

Jadzigvan Gumshavnurt's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Jadzigvan Gumshavnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Erect a large gold sculpture of Jadzigvan Gumshavnurt on top of all buildings.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.