Vingovteen is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, narcissistic mongoose.

Vingovteen created an electron nine million years ago.

If you believe in Vingovteen, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Vingovteen, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Vingovteen's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Vingovteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear pink clothing.

2. Always treat ducks with great respect.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate foxes.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Vingovteen.