Pontam is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, sage crane.

Pontam created the planet Earth nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pontam, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Pontam, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Pontam's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Pontam's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about black holes.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Pontam.