Wabtarxuck Febgomvan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, calm grasshopper.

Wabtarxuck Febgomvan created vertebrates seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wabtarxuck Febgomvan, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Wabtarxuck Febgomvan, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Wabtarxuck Febgomvan's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Wabtarxuck Febgomvan's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed cherries to dolphins while wearing pink coats.

2. Never eat limes.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a room before entering it.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.