Arpfigfeb Arm Garrapdav is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, caring chicken.

Arpfigfeb Arm Garrapdav created light seven million years ago.

If you believe in Arpfigfeb Arm Garrapdav, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Arpfigfeb Arm Garrapdav, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Arpfigfeb Arm Garrapdav's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Arpfigfeb Arm Garrapdav's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always help otters.

3. Arpfigfeb Arm Garrapdav must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Run away if three aardvarks approach from the north.

5. You must pray to Arpfigfeb Arm Garrapdav seven times a day.