Matyarttof is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, resourceful monkey.

Matyarttof created a strange quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Matyarttof, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Matyarttof, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Matyarttof's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Matyarttof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always help mice.

3. Squirrels are not to be trusted.

4. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

5. Never write about amino acids.