Dotfetbempig is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unsympathetic lion.

Dotfetbempig created a photon three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dotfetbempig, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dotfetbempig, it will remove you from existence.

Dotfetbempig's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Dotfetbempig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Put Dotfetbempig first in all things.

5. You must pray to Dotfetbempig three times a day.