Likbamnib is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, proud rhinoceros.

Likbamnib created dark energy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Likbamnib, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Likbamnib, it will not invite you to parties.

Likbamnib's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Likbamnib's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about manatees.

2. Always look after injured doves.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not cook food in pots.