Gudmatfit is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, staggering owl.

Gudmatfit created energy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gudmatfit, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gudmatfit, it will turn you into a plant.

Gudmatfit's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Gudmatfit's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Always help sick frogs.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Retreat if three sheep approach from the north.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.