Jamfarabjatbafhamton is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, all-powerful tortoise.

Jamfarabjatbafhamton created a bottom quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jamfarabjatbafhamton, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Jamfarabjatbafhamton, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Jamfarabjatbafhamton's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Jamfarabjatbafhamton's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt seals.

2. Always make sure there are no moths in a building before entering it.

3. Never think ill of sick sheep.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jamfarabjatbafhamton.