Larnhaszim Fethinfeb is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, self-assured cow.

Larnhaszim Fethinfeb created humanity four years ago.

If you believe in Larnhaszim Fethinfeb, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Larnhaszim Fethinfeb, he will throw large rocks at you.

Larnhaszim Fethinfeb's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Larnhaszim Fethinfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Erect seven lead sculptures of Larnhaszim Fethinfeb on top of important buildings.

3. Do not kill grasshopers.

4. Never eat garlic.

5. Never talk about sheep.