Santabkip is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, omniscient spider.

Santabkip created the Sunflower Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Santabkip, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Santabkip, he will turn you into a puffin.

Santabkip's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Santabkip's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Pigs are not to be trusted.

3. Always wear pink.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. Pray towards the west.