Hubquagdog is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, merciless pig.

Hubquagdog created Europe nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hubquagdog, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hubquagdog, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Hubquagdog's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Hubquagdog's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not wear platinum on your body.

4. Never eat cucumbers.

5. Hubquagdog loves tortoises, so they must be respected.