Quillnulvab is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, slow centipede.

Quillnulvab created Africa four years ago.

If you believe in Quillnulvab, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Quillnulvab, he will turn you into a plant.

Quillnulvab's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Quillnulvab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Do not listen to music.