Batril is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, omniscient goat.

Batril created the Small Magellanic Cloud three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Batril, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Batril, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Batril's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Batril's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Always help voles.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always make sure there are no rats in a room before entering it.