Zenquafsaf is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, overgenerous seal.

Zenquafsaf created dark energy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zenquafsaf, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Zenquafsaf, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Zenquafsaf's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Zenquafsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never think ill of sick dogs.

5. Hide if eight mites approach from the west.