Veenvanflis is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, omniscient eagle.

Veenvanflis created carbon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Veenvanflis, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Veenvanflis, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Veenvanflis' most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Veenvanflis' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Never feed peanuts to grasshopers while wearing brown scarves.

5. Always wear cyan.