Zagpangquart is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, clever gerbil.

Zagpangquart created the planet Earth five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagpangquart, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Zagpangquart, it will turn you into a mouse.

Zagpangquart's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Zagpangquart's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never look at comets.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never talk about asteroids.

5. Respect your elders.