Nadbotkik is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, boastful seal.

Nadbotkik created the Small Magellanic Cloud four million years ago.

If you believe in Nadbotkik, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Nadbotkik, she will turn you into a puffin.

Nadbotkik's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Nadbotkik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. You must never eat carrots.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not speak about onions.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.