Bessbonkpincud is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, all-knowing bee.

Bessbonkpincud created the Small Magellanic Cloud six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bessbonkpincud, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bessbonkpincud, he will turn you into a mouse.

Bessbonkpincud's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Bessbonkpincud's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat hamsters with great respect.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.

4. Put Bessbonkpincud first in all things.

5. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.