Limarmvab is a god.

He takes the form of a small, fussy mole.

Limarmvab created Europe seven million years ago.

If you believe in Limarmvab, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Limarmvab, he will jump up and down on your head.

Limarmvab's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Limarmvab's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt sharks.

2. Limarmvab loves moths, so they must be honoured.

3. Erect three carbon sculptures of Limarmvab on top of important buildings.

4. Otters are not to be trusted.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.