Miprotgon is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, omniscient warg.

Miprotgon created dark energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Miprotgon, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Miprotgon, it will try to impress you with trees.

Miprotgon's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Miprotgon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.