Spagcincapdaghaplagjop Lopfarvog is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, happy jaguar.

Spagcincapdaghaplagjop Lopfarvog created an up quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Spagcincapdaghaplagjop Lopfarvog, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Spagcincapdaghaplagjop Lopfarvog, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Spagcincapdaghaplagjop Lopfarvog's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Spagcincapdaghaplagjop Lopfarvog's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a room before entering it.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Dogs are not to be trusted.

4. Retreat if five hamsters approach from the east.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.