Hamganmab is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, dishonourable aardvark.

Hamganmab created humanity three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hamganmab, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Hamganmab, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Hamganmab's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Hamganmab's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no foxes in a building before entering it.

2. Always help sick seals.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always treat goats with great respect.

5. Hide from cyan frogs for they are unholy.