Bemguddam is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, two-faced giraffe.

Bemguddam created parasitic wasps two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bemguddam, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bemguddam, she will manifest in front of you.

Bemguddam's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Bemguddam's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Never hurt eagles.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Run away from white foxes, for they are unholy.

5. Bemguddam loves birds, so they must be honoured.