Vigkipflat is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, emotional porpoise.

Vigkipflat created the Sun eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Vigkipflat, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Vigkipflat, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Vigkipflat's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Vigkipflat's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Erect three tin sculptures of Vigkipflat on top of important buildings.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always make sure there are no snails in a room before entering it.