Jarnxuckrut is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, cheerful parrot.

Jarnxuckrut created the Andromeda Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnxuckrut, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Jarnxuckrut, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Jarnxuckrut's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Jarnxuckrut's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not kill dogs.

5. Never think about cell theory.