Tinpogsin is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, compassionate capybara.

Tinpogsin created Europe six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tinpogsin, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Tinpogsin, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Tinpogsin's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Tinpogsin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Never look at comets.

3. You must pray to Tinpogsin seven times a day.

4. Never sing in the presence of goats.

5. Never think about nebulae.