Cepvilvadflap is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, uncaring porpoise.

Cepvilvadflap created a Higgs boson eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cepvilvadflap, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Cepvilvadflap, she will destroy your home planet.

Cepvilvadflap's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Cepvilvadflap's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cepvilvadflap.

2. Never jump in the presence of capybaras.

3. Never talk about rats.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never write about nebulae.