Bitweebut is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, dishonest newt.

Bitweebut created Asia two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitweebut, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bitweebut, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Bitweebut's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Bitweebut's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into indigo rooms.

2. Tapirs are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Bitweebut loves badgers, so they must be honoured.