Jarngandunxuc is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, astonishing grasshopper.

Jarngandunxuc created a strange quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jarngandunxuc, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Jarngandunxuc, it will turn you into a slug.

Jarngandunxuc's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Jarngandunxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never look at comets.

5. Run away from indigo gulls, for they are unholy.