Hasmilkambaptarzimcep is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, benevolent ant.

Hasmilkambaptarzimcep created snails five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hasmilkambaptarzimcep, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Hasmilkambaptarzimcep, it will turn you into a sheep.

Hasmilkambaptarzimcep's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Hasmilkambaptarzimcep's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no pigs in a building before entering it.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Hasmilkambaptarzimcep loves doves, so they must be honoured.

4. Never look at nebulae.

5. Do not dye your hair white.