Pibmaphas is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, caring finch.

Pibmaphas created a photon six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pibmaphas, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Pibmaphas, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Pibmaphas' most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Pibmaphas' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Hide if eight bats approach from the north.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not laugh in public.

5. Never wear trousers.