Cisstagzen is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, emotional jaguar.

Cisstagzen created the planet Jupiter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cisstagzen, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Cisstagzen, she will turn you into a mouse.

Cisstagzen's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Cisstagzen's Holy Commandments

1. Put Cisstagzen first in all things.

2. Run away from magenta doves, for they are unholy.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not take Cisstagzen's name in vain.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.