Veennilvonstrag is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, conceited whale.

Veennilvonstrag created Europe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Veennilvonstrag, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Veennilvonstrag, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Veennilvonstrag's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Veennilvonstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.