Quamnatsaf is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, deceitful fox.

Quamnatsaf created humankind two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quamnatsaf, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Quamnatsaf, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Quamnatsaf's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Quamnatsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about porpoises.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate monkeys.

3. Do not kill turtles.

4. Never mention mites.

5. Fast once a month.