Cemjapmum is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, proud cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Cemjapmum created an atom six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cemjapmum, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cemjapmum, it will refuse to believe in you.

Cemjapmum's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Cemjapmum's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Cemjapmum three times a day.

2. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a building before entering it.

3. Always treat badgers with great respect.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not take Cemjapmum's name in vain.