Zogtimyak is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, merciless deer.

Zogtimyak created Asia six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zogtimyak, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Zogtimyak, she will come to you in dreams.

Zogtimyak's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Zogtimyak's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Zogtimyak.

2. Never jump near seals.

3. Do not kill squirrels.

4. Always make sure there are no otters in a room before entering it.

5. Never wear cyan skirts.