Kimvilcen is a god.
He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, competent
dog.
Kimvilcen created the planet Earth two billion years ago.
If you believe in
Kimvilcen, he will give you great power.
If you do not believe in
Kimvilcen, he will destroy your home solar system.
Kimvilcen's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.
Kimvilcen's Holy Commandments1. Never think about stars.
2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kimvilcen.
3. Never sit near sharks.
4. Always wear turquoise.
5. Do not wear gray clothing.