Cedwipflan is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, intelligent raccoon.

Cedwipflan created a down quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cedwipflan, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cedwipflan, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Cedwipflan's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Cedwipflan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Erect seven tin sculptures of Cedwipflan on top of important buildings.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate horses.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never write about gravity.