Figcutingsog is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, idiotic mongoose.

Figcutingsog created the planet Jupiter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Figcutingsog, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Figcutingsog, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Figcutingsog's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Figcutingsog's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed turnips to snails while wearing purple coats.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Figcutingsog loves geese, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never wear cyan ear rings.