Gilbasscutxin is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, deceitful otter.

Gilbasscutxin created Mount Everest nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gilbasscutxin, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gilbasscutxin, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Gilbasscutxin's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Gilbasscutxin's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your arms turquoise.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate shrews.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Always help ants in need.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate bats.