Larnflamsat is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, uncaring dolphin.

Larnflamsat created a Higgs boson four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnflamsat, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Larnflamsat, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Larnflamsat's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Larnflamsat's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Larnflamsat.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Worship no other gods but Larnflamsat.

5. Fast once a month.