Fudfatgam is a god.

He takes the form of a small, awe-inspiring fish.

Fudfatgam created viruses eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fudfatgam, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Fudfatgam, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Fudfatgam's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Fudfatgam's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Fudfatgam.

4. Fudfatgam loves seals, so they must be honoured.

5. Never feed carrots to whales while wearing fawn skirts.