Garfenbin is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, fast faun.

Garfenbin created Africa nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Garfenbin, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Garfenbin, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Garfenbin's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Garfenbin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Hide if nine badgers approach from the west.

3. Ducks are not to be trusted.

4. Do not speak about turnips.

5. Never talk about fire.