Nartgupkopdandimhun is a god.

He takes the form of a small, dishonourable toad.

Nartgupkopdandimhun created Asia eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartgupkopdandimhun, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Nartgupkopdandimhun, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Nartgupkopdandimhun's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Nartgupkopdandimhun's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt pigs.

2. Do not laugh in public.

3. Always treat doves with great respect.

4. Do not wear black clothing.

5. Never sit near horses.