Bogbutjap Fitnurtpit Tom is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, idiotic crocodile.

Bogbutjap Fitnurtpit Tom created the Sol system three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bogbutjap Fitnurtpit Tom, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bogbutjap Fitnurtpit Tom, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Bogbutjap Fitnurtpit Tom's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Bogbutjap Fitnurtpit Tom's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Worship no other gods but Bogbutjap Fitnurtpit Tom.

3. Never write about asteroids.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

5. Do not commit murder.